The B.C. Ministry of Transportation and Highways has announced that they will install a new set of tolls near the Merritt tourist information centre.

The Province says the move will hopefully cause motorists to avoid the tolls and drive through town, where they will have to pass through the downtown core and gasoline alley before they can get back onto the highway.

The front runner to be the new Premier of B.C., Vancouver Mayor Greger Robertson, says the tolls are the best way to boost the city’s economy.

Merritt’s recycling issue appears to finally have been resolved. The Railyard Mall will be the new spot for the recycling depot following the torching of the original depot on Main Street. Last night at about 3 a.m., Merritt Fire and Rescue were dispatched to the depot, which was engulfed in flames. Hundreds of Merritt residents were on hand, reportedly chanting “burn baby burn.” No charges have been laid.

The mountain pine beetle has finally been eradicated thanks to a beetle eating virus developed by a small group of underground biologists operating out of an abandoned building in Merritt’s downtown core.

Mayor Susan Roline has praised the group for their efforts and the United Nations is sending in a team of experts to study the virus and bring it to other parts of the world. Of course, the virus has been patented and the biologists, known as Notorious N.I.V., are demanding a heavy price for the sale of the virus.

If that wasn’t big enough news, it turns out that MountainFest will run this summer as a four-week festival.

City of Merritt employees each donated one day worth of pay and it managed to cover the expenses for the festival for the next 6 years, however, all six of Merritt’s city councillors resigned in protest saying that the money should have been used to pay for the $25 million dollar arena that will be home to the Merritt Centennials for the 2011-2012 season.

They are still debating whether to locate it near the airport or tear down the Nicola Valley Memorial arena to make room.

The vacancies at City Hall have resulted in the immediate appointment of 6 new councillors, all of whom have recently moved to Merritt to retire. The identity of the new councillors are unknown, but word on the street has it that they are going to bring in bylaws that would shut down the town’s mills at night due to several complaints from residents that the backup beeping sound from forklifts has become a permanent ringing in their ears, and about the noise from ATVs.

And, oh yeah, Happy April 1st!

— John O'Connor